Wait a few days before you kill yourself
By Andy Alt / Mental Dimensions
December 22, 2008
If you’re thinking about killing yourself, wait a few days. At least hold off on your suicide until after the holiday season.
I’ve had an increasing amount of suicidal thoughts lately, but I’m going to give it a few days before I make any hasty decisions or permanent travel plans.
Everybody should know by now that more suicides take place during the holidays than any other time of the year. If you’re feeling more suicidal than usual right now, chances are it’s holiday stress that has you nailed to the mat.
Why this time of year? Last night, December 21, was Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, and therefore the shortest day of the year.
If you live on the surface, you’ll notice humans typically aren’t cave-dwellers. Reasons for this vary, but most believe it’s because living in a cave provides poor Internet connectivity. Most importantly, humans need sunlight to maintain their mental and physical health.
From the link above:
Surviving Depression at Christmas
With the festive season upon us, most will be out celebrating with friends and families. But the added stresses associated with Christmas can trigger, or worsen, an episode of depression. For those affected by depression, Christmas can be the very worst time of year.
Christmas can be a sad and lonely time for those who live alone, feeling their isolation even more acutely when faced with greater socialising around them. It can be a worrying time particularly for those on low incomes and benefits, who may have gone into debt in order to buy presents for their children. Christmas can be a stressful time for employees who are under pressure at work to clear the decks before the holidays, but who are also expected to engage in the round of parties and drinks evenings.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
SAD is a particular type of depression that is common at this time of year, because it is triggered by a lack of daylight. You should talk to your GP if you only experience depression at this time of year. You can also ask for Depression Alliance’s SAD factsheet.
If lack of daylight saps your spirit, however, don’t disrupt your mind and automatically think you have a disease. As I mentioned, humans have a basic biological need for daylight. It’s therefore natural for your moods to swing at different times of the year. However, if your depression and suicidal urges get too severe for you to handle then get help now the same way you’d do it at any other time of the year.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Mental Health & Psychology Resources Online
If you’re depressed you might think I’m crazy. You might like the dark when you’re down, but that doesn’t mean the dark is good for you or your mental health. And remember that sunlight is better than artificial light, even better than the magical green fluorescent light that comes from good fairies and wise elves.
Whatever the reasons for your increased depression, wait a few days and see what happens.
Besides, if you think committing suicide will make your life better, you’d be dead wrong.
If you think killing yourself is a better option than muddling and foundering through life, you’re probably an optimist. Me, I’m so pessimistic I believe if I were to kill myself the only thing different I’d be saying is, “Death sucks” instead of “Life sucks.”
I consider myself a realistic pessimist instead of an unrealistic optimist. If you have positive thoughts that you’d enjoy death more than life, then I congratulate you on your ignorant and blissful view of your mortality and reality.
If all my thoughtful and considerate advice hasn’t dissuaded you from ending your life, I’ll generously offer a link to my handy How-to guide called Painless Ways to Commit Suicide.
Me, I’m going to give it a few days. My sleeping patterns have been irregular lately, and much of my sleep has been during daylight hours. I realized last year that my depression is significantly worse when I get daytime sleep. I’m going to keep working on correcting my sleeping schedule and hopefully I’ll check back in a few days so everyone can tell me how they’re doing and if they survived the very nasty holiday season and the days following winter solstice.
If I don’t sleep well I feel terrible.
A psychiatrist I met told me that during this time of the year suicides rates increase here.
It’s sunny.
I confess that I’m also feeling suicidal.
I’m not depressed in the clinical way.
I’m just too sad because of many things. I’m hesitating posting it. But perhaps it can help other people.
Instead of killing myself perhaps I should start a worldwide campaign to put an end on Christmas.
How can this time of year bring so many troubles to everyone?
Those who have families are not happy because they hate the idea of having to go to their parents house; in some homes all the conflicts are at the table; those who are not married think that they should be; some who are married think that they’ve better divorce; some people love the idea of not going to their works and finally stay home for a couple of days during the holidays; those who are unemployed feel more depressed because they have no job…
That’s it!
Let’s create a petition online to put an end in all of this.
Of course we will suffer a great pressure from market.
But at least we’ve tried.
And what about news eve?
This is ridiculous!
We should fight to change the calendar.
12 months?
It’s too little! Yesterday I was celebrating 2008!
Please, give me a break here!
The Mayas had lots of ways to deal with time.
Let’s be more creative!
:)
Thank you Andy!
I’m happy again!
Hey,
I have been very suicidal lately- not from the holidays but because of a med. I am lucky I have been trained to work on a suicide prevention hot line, but it’s hard, it’s so damn hard. I lost a very good friend to suicide in September and I miss him so damn much.
Hamg in there. YOu write beautifully. You have a lot to offer, and you got a great sense of humor, judging by the Bugs movie. We are all travellers on the same path, and we all know what it’s like.
Take care and keep blogging…. Please.
-Susan S.
@Ana: Sunny and depressed? It was only a few months ago when I first heard about Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’m not implying you have it, but wanted to make you aware of it if you weren’t already.
As for your petition, I see you moved forward with your idea with your post Unhappy Christmas.
I found this map to tell me where all the daylight is in the world: Sun is shining in the light region, it’s night in the dark region
I do agree it’s the expectations of Christmas cheer and family time that create waves of depression during the holidays. How about guilt if you can’t afford to buy all the things you’d like to for your friends and family? Expectations of shopping also bring me down.
@Susan, thank you for your wonderful compliments.
What medication are you taking? Remember, always wait a few days before you commit suicide.
I’ll hang in there, as you demand, at least for a few more days. Each time, I’ll hang in there for a few more days, and perhaps when I’m 70 years old I’ll wonder, “Where did the time go?”
Thank you for the encouragement, Susan with an “s.”
Andy, I am on lithium and Cymbalta. I was on 3100 mg of lithium, it was just tapered down to 2800. and 60 mg of Cymbalta. That drug is pure evil.
I think I commented on your piece on Cymbalta- but I could be wrong.
Hey Andy! How are you doing post Christmas? I am going to write something short for you to put on your site if you decide to. Okay? Keep up the writing. You might be saving more people than you know.
Amy, I’m slowly getting better, thank you for asking. After Christmas dinner, when I said, “we’ll feel better on the 27th….. of this month,” and you replied, “next year?” I tried to be uncharacteristically optimistic. There’s always tomorrow, after all, as long as we all wait a few days before killing ourselves.
You can post your story at the brand-new Mental Dimensions Online at mentaldimensions.net.
I wasn’t very creative with the name, but that can be changed.
All anyone needs to do to submit a story or blog post there is register for an account; story submission links will appear on the left once he or she is logged in.
If you wrote something political, remember you’ll have to send it to me so I can post it to Political Dimensions.
Thanks for the encouragement. I don’t know if it’s saving any lives. If I am, those living people will probably get angry with me for convincing them to continue their life-long mental anguish and torture. I suppose if that happens I’ll have to live with myself in the knowledge I caused so much pain and suffering, and hope I won’t be judged harshly when I’m at the Gates of Pizza Hutt.
Susan, no — you are right and I am slow. I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time on that crap. It’s too bad you didn’t get a placebo instead. Do you remember when this story from the BBC hit last February?
Anti-depressants: ‘little effect’
Hey Andy-
I just realized there is an error in your article.
It’s an Urban Legend about suicides and December in the US. According to both Snopes and The NYT it’s Spring that is the worst time to suicide.
I welcome any corrections. Thank you, SuSan.
You cease to amaze me Andy. The holidays are stressful. I became anxious and dealt with anxiety after New Year’s. I couldn’t really explain why. I think it has something to do with hormones and emotions-you’re up, you’re down, up, down, etc. I could relate to your story. MOM
Thanks, Mom. And I assume you meant that I “never” cease to amaze you. :)
Hey, thanks for writting this page. It does or did help me a little. I guess I will wait a few days before I kill myself. I
I am not depressed becuse of the holiday x-mas , although I agree it should be banned. It is over commercialized and really all the holiday has become is a buying frenzy and a serise of I wants…
Anyway, I’m depressed because I have a criminal record from when I was younger and now that I want to get a job and be a normal citizen the parole board wont let me have an expungement or work pardon and I cant get a job any where. How am I suppose to feed myself? Am I suppose to keep shoplifting and commiting crimes to get buy because our stupid government wont let me get a job. I have gone to school for Phlebotomy, CNA and I cant get a job in either field. How depressing is that…
Whatever…I feel like hanging myself or robbing a bank. What other choices do I have….I feel totally lost and useless..
Cristin, you’ve asked a question that really hits at one of the biggest problems in our society. I can’t speak from personal experience, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone with a record to find employment. Not only that, but if you can get a job, options get limited to some very shitty work. If someone already struggles to cope with life and fights to live, then working 8 hours a day at crappy — and sometimes dangerous jobs — gets to be virtually impossible. People will say it’s a step in the right direction, or you have to start at the bottom, but struggling with depression and hopeless can be impossible for some people, so to “be patient” and maintain a job one hates during all that doesn’t really make it any easier for a person.
I admire your courage and determination to keep going, for posting your question, for not giving up. Many people wouldn’t try, so I give you credit, for what it’s worth, for looking for solutions even when the outlook is dim.
Many states or counties have vocational rehabilitation programs to help in situations like yours. I’ve used them before because I’ve had trouble working for mental health reasons. So those programs serve clients for different reasons. Have you contacted someone from the state or the county you live in to see if there are options like that available to you?
Beyond that, I couldn’t say. I know it’s a problem a lot of people face because there’s no good system to help reformed offenders get back on their feet. And you wouldn’t be the first one who felt she had to turn to theft in order to survive. And then it turns into a circle.
I’ll provide some links that may help. I can’t guarantee you’ll find any answers with these, but let’s you and keep a dialog going until you can find an answer that you can live with.
Ask the Therapist
Beyond Meds Social Network
Psych Central
Forums at Psych Central
And on this site there’s a page for Blogs Related to Mental Health. Look under the Social Networking and Forums section.
Ask around, and maybe you can find someone in a similar situation. I’m sure the question has already been ask. If not, ask it and see if you can get a clue as to a step you can take. Anything that can lead to the step after that. I know it seems hopeless. I won’t blow smoke up your ass and try to fill you with a false sense of hope. But maybe you’ll get lucky. And like I said, let’s keep a dialog going until you find an answer that’s acceptable.
Keep me informed, and I hope you can keep waiting a few days before you kill yourself or feel the need to shoplift those tasty Hostess Apple Pies or Cup Cakes. Robbing banks is just a bad idea, because you might have to shoot someone and you’d have a harder time living with yourself then. You don’t strike me as a good murderer, but then again, I hardly know you. I wouldn’t be adverse to stealing diamond rings from dead people, though many would say it’s unethical, I say they don’t have much use for it. I took one off a coma patient once, but it turns out I was premature. I mean, I bet there’s lots of “normal” folks who would prefer that someone stole a diamond ring from a dead person instead of robbing the bank. But you know how people are. If they didn’t keep their money in the bank you robbed, they’d care less about that than if you stole a ring off their relative’s cold lifeless hands. Obviously people need to get their priorities straight and keep their moral values consistent.
cristin,
I would like to talk to you.
I hope you come back. If you read this please go to my blog or e-mail me or leave a place where we can reach you – start a blog is easy and you could say a little about you.
Man! You have a life to build and it’s a beautiful life although you’re having this problems now.
You can overcome. This world is not fair not only for someone with your problem.